My Motherfucking 38th Birthday

08. May, 2008 | by John Moroney |

Okay, NOW I’m in full-tilt birthday mode!

So, in addition to the thousand virgins in plaid skirts and white stocking I get for visiting horrendous acts upon the infidels, I would very much like only one thing, an album I had when I was 16: “Fire Dances” by Killing Joke.

Yes, I am only going to listen to it a few times, chuckle, and put it away. It doesn’t change the fact that it’s my birthday and I want it.

Additionally, you might give me Sony brand MiniDV cassettes and Glazer’s gift cards. You might also be incredibly surprised to learn the depth of my dirty whore’s gratitude if you get me a Panasonic AG-DVX100B. Really, really surprised. You only think you know how low I’ll sink for material goods. I assure you, it’s actually much, much lower.